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Debt-ridden and desperate? Get out of the red and into The Red! Join the Red Horizons on Mars as an Extraction Security Associate and pay off your debts by defending your way to wealth in this ironic first-person-shooter/tower-defensy/existential-horror adventure!
Prepare for an immersion into a mildly cynical first-person-shooter experience with tower-defense and adventure gaming elements that unveils the true essence of corporate exploitation. Embark on a journey as an unwittingly indentured security associate on Mars, trapped in the clutches of a heartless megacorporation demanding you work for peanuts defending their assets while occasionally trying to kill you for the insurance money. Your role? Collect and defend dirt. Literal, unadulterated dirt, from the ground. And before you assume there's a fun euphemistic meaning behind "dirt," -- perhaps corporate espionage? -- nope, think again!; it's plain ol' dirt. Fancy, astronomically-priced dirt, sure, but it's still just dirt. Yet, don't let that dampen your spirits because the pay is nothing short of extravagant. You'll get a slice of the pie for every ounce of soil you muster forth. Upon your triumphant return, assuming you survive, a generously meager fraction of your collected dirt's value will be transmuted into your earnings, and it will be a lot more than you'd ever have made on Earth. Quite possibly surpassing the net worth of your entire hometown. If, against all odds, you survive the scant days it takes to clear your debt, and provided you don't splurge at the company's convenience store, Earth will welcome you back, a wealthy dreamer. So, flash us that team-player smile, security associate! A few days of hard work on Mars, and, one way or the other, you'll never work again.
Players can expect to:
The game is easy to enjoy for its stress-relieving alien-murdering properties, but is extremely hard to win. It begins at a breakneck pace which eventually evolves into complete mayhem. There are horrifying secrets to discover if you're willing to break the rules, but you may not like what you find. Dying often is expected, even on the easiest difficulty. The hardest difficulty is intentionally unfair and quite possibly unbeatable. If you do survive, however, you will have earned more than you could have ever hoped to see in your entire lifetime. So, what are you waiting for? An application?
Location: Mars Salary: Extremely Competitive Job Type: Full-time
Red Horizons, a subsidiary of ∑d/x, is seeking highly motivated and skilled individuals to join our team as an Extraction Security Associates on Mars. As an Extraction Security Associate, you will be responsible for protecting our FabriClay™ extraction operations, repairing damaged extractors, prospecting for new FabriClay™ deposits, and ensuring the safety of our employees.
Responsibilities: Monitor the area for potential threats and take appropriate action to address them. Operate Proprietary SentiScan™ device and place turrets in optimal locations to deter unwanted threats. Maintain and repair equipment, including periodically manually emptying FabriClay™ collectors. Conduct regular safety drills to improve overall efficiency and safety.
Requirements: Grade school diploma or equivalent. Strong problem-solving and critical thinking skills, especially in high-stress and/or life-threatening situations. Ability to work in a fast-paced, high-pressure and physically demanding environment. Excellent communication and teamwork skills while under duress. Must be physically fit and able to operate heavy equipment, even while injured. No fear of enclosed sharp spaces.
Benefits: Competitive salary and benefits package. Security Extraction Associates receive room and board and a generous equity share of all FabriClay™ collection (current market rate). Opportunity to work on Mars and be a part of the space exploration industry. Access to our exclusive recreational amenities, including the TuneMaster 5000 music-radio and the Castle Creator Chrome Recreation Enhancement System. Join our team today and become a part of the future of space exploration!
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