Cat President: 3rd-Rate Candidate

Six cats. One presidency. Zero qualifications.

In a world where pets run the government, President DJ Nibbles has spent most of his time lying in sunbeams and using his desk as a scratching post. But now his days of zoomies in the Oval Office are coming to a close, as the U.S. prepares to elect its next Cat President!

Six wildly incompetent candidates are throwing their yarn balls into the ring, each more dysfunctional than the last. You’re the human campaign manager tasked with keeping these adorable candidates out of trouble. Wrangle egos, dodge scandals, fall in love, and maybe even save the country...or make it much, much worse.

Democracy has never been this adorable—or this doomed.

With a script that’s nearly 100,000 words long, Cat President: 3rd-Rate Candidate is a visual novel packed full of romance, humor and cute pictures of real cats. Whether you’re a campaign veteran or just here for the musical numbers and fur-flying debates, it’s the most paws-itively absurd political simulator you’ll ever play.

Cardoon – The current Vice President; has a long history of back-stabbing and cat scratching. Will you arrest their heart and end their lawbreaking ways?

Pollytrix – This flip-flopping candidate can’t keep the same position for more than a week. One minute they want to be let outside—the next, they want back in! Can you help this cat make up their mind?

Jelly Jam – A Broadway-bound cat with big dreams, bigger pipes, and absolutely no understanding of how politics works. Mostly, they just sing.

Nano – A brilliant (?) scientist stuck in a mysterious time loop, forced to relive the same election over and over. Is Nano a genius, or just extremely confused?

Finkle – A fiery senator who’s best known for coughing up hairballs on budget bills. Finkle seems more interested in fighting with their own party than the opposition—and somehow, it’s working.